Newsies Meet Britney Spears
by Katherine McRae
Summary: What happends when the Newsies meet pop star Britney Spears? Read this and find out. *okay so, I'm bad with summaries. But please read it anyways.* Please read disclaimer. And a Warning it's not done, but should be shortly. RR!
1. Disclaimer

Yes. This is a disclaimer, you know the usual stuff. I don't own Newsies, and other than obsessing over the movie I have nothing to do with the movie, the actors, or it's owners. So please don't sue me. Honestly I have NOTHING against Brittney Spears, or anything to do with her. I just needed a someone to be the 'victim' (I guess that's what you'd call her part) YES I know I spell her name wrong thanks for noticing. But that's how it is spelled thru-out the whole story and I'm not changing it. Please ignore the other spelling errors you find. I know I'm a Spell-Not. I spell checked it as best I could. Another thing. I got the idea for this story from another story called Marody's Parody (or something close to that.)and I know for sure it's posted at a site called: Angela's Random Babblings. So yeah. I think that's all. Enjoy! 


	2. Part One: The Meeting

Brittney Spears was on a movie set in Hollywood. "Aaanndd- action!" yelled the director. "I'm stronger than yester day!" Brittney began to sing. She did every thing like clockwork. She sang, the dancers danced, life was great. Until the flash. (The flash is supposed to happen at the end of the music video, then she and the dancers disappeared off stage.) So Anyways. The flash happened and Brittney suddenly felt different, like she was flying or falling, either way she felt weird. (Probably because she was weird) She tried to walk but she didn't get any where. "What the heck!" she whined. KABOOM! One more bright flash then Brittney, and her dancers were standing on a bridge.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Spot sent Tricks to get Jack and his gang, and bring them to Brooklyn for a game of poker. The whole gang headed toward the Brooklyn bridge, singing and dancing . They were still a little hyped from the strike they had just won. As the group of Newsies reached the bridge on the Manhattan's side, Jack noticed a group of people standing exactly in the middle of the bridge. "Nuthin' new" he thought, and said nothing about it. (Why should he) As they got closer the saw there were three guys and four girls in the group, they hadn't budged a foot. At about ten feet away the other boys noticed the group and stopped singing and dancing. The group too was silent as the newsies approached them. A girl of about sixteen stepped forward. All the newsies stared at her wide eyed, she was barely dressed! The newsies began to murmur as Jack came forward, with Tricks right beside him. "Who are youse? And why is you standin' in the middle of da bridge? Ya' lost 'er sumtin' ?" Jack asked. "I could ask the same of you. Now be a good boy and get off my set!" she yelled. "She asked for- I mean he asked for youse name lady!" shouted a vary demanding boy with an eye patch. The girl snickered. Then she turned around and spoke to a girl wearing black. (They were all wearing black) " Tami bring me my cell!" "I don't have your cell and I'm not your slave Your royal dorkness" answered the girl named Tami.  
Jack was getting a little angry at her for ignoring him. " I'll ask ya' one more time. Who are ya' ?" This time Tami answered " We are the Brittney Spears, music video, dancers, and that bimbo is Brittney." She pointed to the people as she spoke. "That's Brad, Eric, Chad, Chelsy, and Ashley, oh, and I as you know I'm Tami. That's our gang! So wh-" " Who are you, besides really cute?" interrupted Ashley. "Now nun' o'dat." replied Jack curtly, them looking at Brittney, "Look youse gotta get outta me way or all have ta get ruff wid youse." "' scuse me Jack shouldn't you be nice to dis beautiful angel?" asked Tricks. "No I'se ain't gonna be nice. Angel me hat. And if she don't move, I'll-" "I'm not moving!" shouted Brittney defiantly. Jack took a step forward. The newsies froze. " Jack, stay calm! I'm sure their new in town, they don't know who you are! Jack listen to me! Jack!" David shook Jack as he spoke. " Race help me I need some help!" " Alright stop yellin' I ain't deft!" answered Race in a yell. David had a problem with getting attention. " Dave's right Jack." " Thank you! You can't just go around hitting girls, it'll give us a bad name." " Alright Dave thanks, I'll think about that." Jack stepped back and began to shout. " What's it gonna take ta get ta Brooklyn are we ready?" The newsies yeah'd. " What's it gonna take ta get through this group? Can we do it?" The newsies yeah'd. " Well do what we gotta do until we get to Brooklyn and ply our poker games! Brittney can't stop us!" "Yeah!" shouted the newsies. "OW!" shouted Race. " What's da matter Race?" Jack asked worriedly. " Sh-sh-she smacked me!" answered Race pointing at Chelsy. Jack glared at her. She spoke in her own defense. " Well he was standing right in front of me, and smoking that's like sooo gross and like sooo disgusting." " Well youse di'na have ta smack me! An if'n youse weren't a goil I'd smack ya' back wid dis!" he held up a fist. The group just burst out laughing. " Alright! Alright! I'se ain't speakin' ta youse no more. Youse on me hoity- toity list." To this the group laughed even harder.  
Tricks interrupted them. " Um. Miss do ya need a tour 'round of in' i'thin' ? I'se'll be happy ta show ya' round. Youse group cin come too if ya' want." " Why thank you! We would love that." Squealed Brittney. " What was your name?" " I'se called Tricks" " Come along dancers, or stay with these. these. low lives!" and with a stare and a glare towards the newsies Brittney Spears took Tricks' arm and they walked away. Eric, Chad, Ashley, and Tami were the dancers who stayed. " We won't be seeing her any time soon." said Eric, more to him-self than any one. " Or tricks either." Replied Jack. " Spot ain't gonna like dis"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Later at the Brooklyn lodging house . . .  
  
"He what?!" exclaimed Spot " Tricks ran off wid some goil who was half dressed." answered Jack. " He can't do dist a me! It ain't fare! I'll soke 'im da bum! I'll-" "He cin do whatever 'e wants, it's his stinkin" life." 


	3. Part Two: Some Missing Links

Spot was walking through the crowded streets of Brooklyn, shouting headlines, selling newspapers. He was almost done. (Jack and David let Spot borrow Les for the morning; to "crumb" for him.) Les was selling in front of a theatrical bar. "Time I'se got Les an' headed for Manhattan" Spot thought as he walked. It was poker night, he didn't like poker too much; not since Tricks left. Tricks was the only guy that really challenged him. Sure Jack and Race were okay, but Tricks was hard to beat. "But Tricks is gone," Spot sold his last paper "course I'd kinda wanted ta see that half nak- What am I sayin'? Whats da mattah wid me?! I'se Da Great Spot Conlon! Leader O' Brooklyn! I don't need no best pal !-just a goil- an' I ain't gonna do nutin' stupid ta get 'im back either."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey kid I'll give ya a quartah' if you'll drink dis cup of beer!" yelled a man "I'll give ya four bits!" cried an other. Les ran to the man with four bits, gave him a pape, and then drank his cup of beer. The man handed him the money and laughed. Then Les went out side where a second later Spot found him. The two started out for Manhattan. "You smell of beer." Spot commented. "Yeah, a guy bet me I wouldn't drink some." replied Les. "Heck, for four bits I'd drink a cup." "Well your a different story. Your not cute an' little like me. Watching you drink beer would be like them watching them-selves drink, ya-know what I mean." "You sayin' I ain't cute?" asked Spot raising his voice a little. " Well your okay. Your not my type, I prefer girls. -No offence- Your nice I guess, but your not a little hottie like me-." "Get outta me sight ya doity rotten lil' pimple!" Spot yelled at the rambling little Les. As quick as a flash, Spot pulled out his sling-shot and started pelting marbles at Les. And Les, like any sensible person, ran his little rear off. He ran all the way from the Brooklyn bridge to Tibby's, (which was a good forty minutes away) to tell the 'BIG' boys what Spot did.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The door of Tibby's opened, and Snipeshooter slammed his bottle of whiskey on the table. It was only Les. Les ran in right up to Snipeshooter coughing and wheezing. "Here Les take a swig 'er two a dis it'll make ya stop dat noise, an' put some hair on youse chest." Les took the bottle and drank about three gulps and on the fourth he sputtered and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Ugh,(spit) Yuck! What is that! Snipes it's disgusting!" "Whiskey." Was all he got for an answer. Snipeshooter was looking at the half empty bottle of whiskey. After Snipshooter finished the rest of the bottle he started talking(more like mumbling) to Les. "What's da mattah kid?" he asked. "Huh? Oh, Spot was trying to kill me with marbles," Les started "an' I had to run all the way here from Brooklyn, to tell Ja-" "Well don't b-b-b bother me wit youse prod-prob- problems, go t-tell youse mutter! I ain't youse problem dump, dangit I'se youse wife!" When Snipeshooter said this, it scared the poop out of Les and he took off running, again. He ran all the way to Greedly Square, there he slowed to a walk. He was hot, sweaty, and tired. Les sat down on the side walk, he felt weird.(probably because he was.) He put his hand on his chest and found it was soft, almost like fur. Les suddenly jumped up and looked down his shirt. HAIR! " AAAAAHHHHHHHH- No! I can't grow hair on my chest I'm too young to grow hair on my chest! I'm not allowed to." he shrieked unbelievingly. He looked like a pot-belled Dwarf. (a taller Dwarf) " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Les ran away, yet again screaming in terror. He ran through rivers, lakes, and oceans, and over some mountains, all the way to Hawaii. And there someone found him and put him in a freak-side show. (that man made millions of dollars and he changed his name to Mr. Adams and maked Les his cousin IT.) When Les finally died Evolutionists found his body and used him as a missing link but now you know the truth. "And I sewed the underwear to his butt. It was an accident," Sarah was rambling as usual. "And he gave me fifty-dollars just to leave." " That's nice dear." Answerd Mr. Jacobs. He wasn't really listening to her, he wass wandering what was for dinner. Jack rolled his eyes in disgust. (He was over for dinner) He was tierd of Sarah and her underwear mending stories. She was only trying to impress him, but she was failing miserably.  
  
(Jack 'dumped' Sarah after he found out she was a TRUE blonde)  
  
" She can't impress nobody 'cept Snoddy 'an he's dumb in a stupidly idiotic way." Jack stood up quietly, and nonchalantly pulled David into the kitchen. "Quick Davey do sumtin' ta shut 'er up, will ya?! She's drivin me nuts!" David smiled wickedly and said, "I'll get the knife." And I'll get da plates." replied Jack. "What for?" "I don't know I aint da one writin' dis story! Just get da knife." "Right" Mayor and Easter Jacobs watched in eager silence as their eldest son lifted the butchers knife higher and higher above Sarah's head. Jack was smiling thinking of that which was to come. (Les if you remember ran away.) Easter thought of telling David to put the knife away, she kind of liked Sarah. Not a lot mind you, but a itsy-witsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy little bit. But then she thought, "What the heck I haven't seen some action for a long time." So she kept quiet. David swung and Sarah's head rolled off onto the floor. Then David cut, and chopped, and stomped, an' loped all the rest of her body. (Including the head) Then they boild her minced body and ate it for dinner. Well that's what Jack hoped would happen. But what really happened was. David swung and missed. Sarah sprang up in the 'nick of time. "Oh! I forgot to tell you I have a date with Snoddy. And I'm late so, bye!" And with that she left. The knife went throught the chair and into the floor. It went in so deep that they never got the knife out, and it is still there t this very day. TO remind us that David misses, and Sarah lived. ~*~*~*~ Sarah met Snoddy at the Irving hall, and there he swept her off her feet and, carried her to Antarctica. There they both got abducted by Aliens whom, transformed them into wooly mammoths. They became the 'Adam and Eve' of the wooly mammoths. Sarah and Snoddy froze right next to each other. That was the end of Sarah. But, if ever you want to see them, just look for the two biggest mammoths. You should know Sarah right away, she's the only mammoth with a Bo-Peep dress in her stomach. 


	4. Part Three: The Plan

Part three: Spot shook with utter rage. "Why me!" he thought. He threw down the card he was reading and stomped up onto the roof. Jade stood in the doorway watching her best friend. It puzzled her. "Nuthin' could be dat bad," she bent down to pick up the card. "E's just over reactin'." Then she read the card. She read it allowed, once more in disbelief. The Card: Spot Conlon, You and Jasmine have been invited to the wedding of Tricks, and Brittney. Be at the Nook Chapel, January 3, at 12:00 There will be refreshments after the ceremony Sincerely yours, Tricks Li'l and Brittney Spears.  
  
When she finished reading, Jade placed the card on Spots bed and then, joined him on the roof. Walking up to him she put her hand on his shoulder, "You ok?" Spot was silent. She tried again. " I'se sorry Spot I know you two was close, but it's been two-" "Two years since 'e left me!" He cut her off. " Two years wid out one woid. I can't play poker no more cause 'e was me only challenge, an 'e left me! Can you believe dat ME! Spot Conlon! And for what?! Some half dressed flea- bitten tramp he knew for tree minutes!" "Spot youse gotta let 'im go. Look at da bright side, um. uh. yeah, alright der ain't really a bright side. But youse actin like you were married ta da guy!" " No we ain't married. Because he's marryin' that bimbo in tree days! Jiminy! She's a best pal stealer! The.the. they- Why dey should call all dose rotten Brittney Spears back tad a factory fer a remake. Or jist make more o' me. Yeah dats it! Make more Spots" Just then Spot got a really funny look on his face. ~*~*~*~  
  
" Quiet! Quiet! Fellahs!!!" Every one became silent "We are all aware that Tricks is gettin married-" "Noooooooo! It ain't fair!" Shouted Brad. (He left Britney because of 'her and Tricks') "Youse right! It ain't! An' we got ta do sumthin' ta stop it! Jack?" "Be quiet Spot. You too Brad. Spot what can we do? I've told ya a million times, it's their life. An' besides dat we ain't got no plan." "I do." "What was dat Dave?" "I have a plan. One problem though. Spot won't do his part." "What?! Yes I will! If it'll give me back me chum.I'll do it. I'll do anything!!! What's da plan?!" "I'm not tellin' I know you won't do it." "I will! I will! On me honor. I Spot Conlon Leader of Brooklyn 'll do it. NOW WHATS YOUR PLAN?!" "Sign this piece of paper saying that, and then I'll tell you." "O.K . Done!" "Alright the plan is." 


End file.
